Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Will's Memorial and Settling In

Hello, F.O.T.E.'s,
Well, we are making the final plans for Will's memorial service at our church this weekend.  I know it's been 2 months, but his death seems like yesterday.  I've heard it said that the service helps bring "closure," but I'm not sure.  I don't think I'll feel closure this side of Heaven, when I hold my 4 precious blessings again.  That is the Ultimate Closure.  On the other hand, I appreciate the "togetherness" of having a service.  We are looking at Will's service as a celebration of his life--regardless of the fact it was only 25 weeks long.  He blessed me.  His memory blesses me daily, even through the pain.
   The day we first saw this house I had a strong feeling this was the place God would help me heal from Charity's death.  I had no idea it would also be the place God healed me of Will's death. 
The land here teems with life.  When we first moved, all the Life seemed to taunt me.  Now, it is a comfort.  It is a reminder that, regardless of the tragedies we face, the Lord is still in control.  Understanding is not necessary. 
   I am finding a thousand little comforts here.  The hummingbird...the Eastern Bluebird (I think it is...), even a Blue Heron.  Wild turkeys...the way the wind whispers through the trees.  The silence. 
   I'm devouring books about fruit trees, brambles, berries of all sorts...vegetables...animal husbandry.  It is all very stimulating and diverting.
   We had some nibbles of apple a few days ago.  They're not quite ripe, but delicious.  It was a "pinch me moment."  We have been married nearly 20 years, and outside of a house we bought that ended up becoming a rental property, we've not really had a home of our own.  Too many moves with Reid's jobs. 
    With the other house we bought, in less than a year, Reid had accepted a job in a different state.  So, we put the house up for sale.  A family fell in love with it and wanted to buy it.   The snag was that they couldn't get a loan, due to their credit score.  After a lot of prayer, we really felt that that family was the family God wanted in that house.  So, with fear and trembling, we agreed to lease it to them for a year while they rebuilt their credit.  They had the husband's company cut a check for us each month, directly out of his paycheck.  Even though it was a hundred year old house, the family never called us to repair anything.  They fixed it and let us know--never asking for money for the work.
  That year turned into 4 years before they could get a loan.  The auto payments kept coming and the repair calls never did.  Many, many times during those years our real estate agent urged us to kick the family out and sell to someone else.  Though it would have been a relief to get rid of the house, we never felt right about that.  We were convinced that house was for them.  So, we waited.
    I remember the day they closed on that home.  The wife was having her "pinch me moment."  She gushed with gratitude that we waited on them.  She thanked us for giving them a chance. 
     I'm still having my own, daily pinch-me moments.  After 2 decades of "where will we move next?" I am really happy here.  I am enjoying making our home. 
     I'm thankful to be given the chance. 

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