Nathaniel

I am grieving alongside my friend, J, who delivered a stillborn son last night... two weeks after our boy, Will was stillborn.
  I have called it, "A Painful Sisterhood."  After Charity died, I was stunned to learn of all the ladies--friends of mine--who had lost children.  Some losses had been decades earlier, but the pain was still there in those mama's eyes.  We never forget.
  When people ask, "How many children do you have?" I never quite know what to say.  In my heart, I have 9.  I have delivered 7 who were old enough to hold.  I've had the joy of raising 5.  So, how do I answer that question?  I usually say "Five," because I don't want people to feel sorry for me.  I don't know.  I may change that.  I may start revealing and rejoicing in  all my babies,  "Nine." 
   People have replied, even when I say 5, "Wow!  You must have your hands full!"

 "Nah.  Sometimes they feel strangely empty."

   I don't know what God's plan is.  I do know that there is a vast, wide membership in this "Painful Sisterhood."  There are even more of us who have never lost a child, but have yearned for one and couldn't (for whatever reason) have one.
   I also count in that membership those who have walked alongside families who have lost children.  The pain in watching someone else hurt and grieve is also intense.

   Today, I'm grieving with the M Family.  Today I'm missing Nathaniel.

Maybe he and Will and Charity and our 2 Precious Surprises are getting to know each other.  :-)

One day, there will be a glorious Family Reunion.  The thought brings a smile to my face.