Friday, June 11, 2010

Time Warp

It's so weird.  Tonight  is the 4th week anniversary of Will dying.  I don't know how it's possible that my sweet son has been gone 4 weeks.  The pain is so searing, still, it must have been yesterday...but, yet...
  Everywhere is a reminder of him.  I nearly forget and park in the "Expectant Mothers Only" space at the local grocery store.  I remember the lady at the park sneering, saying, "If you're THAT big've got to be having twins."  Just a few days later, Will stopped kicking.  Not even close to twins.
   At the restaurant Reid and I frequent on date night, it had to just be last week that I barely fit in the booth.  But, it wasn't.  I remember so vividly saying, "A few more weeks and I won't fit here!"  The truth was, a few more weeks and fitting was no problem.
    I need to buy some clothes.  I had bought new maternity clothes this time.  I finally found some I liked.  Now, the billowing shirts just remind me of how empty I feel inside.
    I know this will improve.  Just gotta break out of the time warp...

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